well well. apparently exams are ending tomorrow. that's like the best, yet the worse thing that's gonna happen. you see, last day of exam means:
going out.
FOOD!
SHOPPING!
BAND.
but it also means:
going home late
no more afternoon "naps"
guilty eating
less money
BAND.
.
.
.
.
.
as you can already see, band appears on both lists. i'm kind of looking forward to band actually. like Mr De, my beloved instrument, the fun and all that stuff. but it also means the ultra long day in school and band wouldn't be the same anymore. the seniors have already stepped down and like it's just us left. it doesn't feel the same as the sec 2s would've join the senior band and the new intermediate band's the sec ones. not yet, but yah. it's a different kind of feeling. there was one point of a time i couldn'nt wait for this day to come, but now thinking back, i'm starting to feel that the band is lacking this element. it's called UNITY.
i wouldn't say that the band is and was very united. but there was this bonding between batches. the sec ones, being my batch, were close to the sec threes, which was nicole's batch. then after they left, the sec two's which is still my batch, were close to the sec threes, which was ru jing and candy's batch. yup. if you do not understand, ask me. okay anyways, we were so close to a point whereby you couldn't distinguish between the batches. though there were cliques and stuff, but the band was somewhat united. and that united group was this years' SYF group.
but currently, as i see it, i see a unity amongst the batch itself. like my current sec 3 batch is not very united. i dare say so myself. but we were united with the seniors. but the sec 2 batch is a closely bonded group. amongst themselves. so are the sec ones. but i don't know.
okay. you know what. ignore the previous paragraph. that's just my own personal point of view. i trust you not to accept it. just look through and throw it away like rubbish. because i'm not making any sense to anybody.
yup. i really don't know what's going on anyways. maybe it's just paranoia for monday's First Practice Without The Seniors. it's not the lack of confidance.(nat, i know you're about to say that.) it's just the feeling that i don't want to experience again. i've been through it once and i had enough.
[the trombone section, if you didn't know, was one of the strongest sections in the band when nicole and gang were still around. the first practice after they left was the worse. we got yelled at as when they were still there, we NEVER got punished or yelled at. so after that, we being the 5 of us, decided to work so hard to get that best section award.(nicole and her crazy self cost us that okay.) so then, we reached the standard of Mr De's "Zena Warriors." compared to his Loyang BOYS, we were like the best. so that journey and reputation was tough to build up and the hard work did pay off. but now, with my juniors, it ain't gonna be easy. i know it. i'm going to mentally prepare myself.
TO ALL WHO ARE GOING TO ENTER SENIOR BAND:
listen up. you jolly well work hard. harder than what the trombone section has done. work hard and i swear, your efforts pay off. because when you work hard, the music comes out good, you feel it and i'll feel it. and we make that practice absolutely delightful. no more slacking during sectionals and no more wasting of time. i'm sure you know what i'm getting at. you have no idea how much it means to me when i see everybody enjoying themselves during practices when the music comes out good. but obviously you have to work hard. i want to see vast amounts of effort being put into every single thing. because you're a better batch then mine. so i believe you can excel, way furthur than i possibly can. remember, anything less than 100% is not perfection.
once again, as predicted, let my broken heart open and you ripped it out.
bye.